IN THIS ARTICLE
Five Trail Markers to Get Your Goals Back on Track
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Main Takeaways
- Struggling with goals doesn’t mean failure—it’s often about misalignment or unclear direction.
- Breaking goals into clearer, smaller steps makes them easier to achieve.
- Pursuing goals that align with your values leads to greater motivation and long-term success.
Why Is It So Hard to Stick to Your Goals?
You desperately want to achieve something—a healthier lifestyle, a dream career, or that passion project you can’t stop thinking about. Yet somehow, you can’t take the actions you need to make it happen. Maybe your New Year’s Resolutions didn’t last past January, or your big dreams have spent years quietly gathering dust.
If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath. It’s not your fault. Struggling with goals doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. In fact, it’s not a personal problem at all—it’s about the path you’ve chosen.
Rest assured, MAP and our team of wellbeing experts are here to help you navigate the trail ahead. With our step-by-step guide, you’ll uncover the root of your struggle and find a better way forward.
Let’s get started.
Step 1: Do You Actually Want What You Think You Want?
Before you take another step, check the map—are you climbing the right mountain?
Sometimes, the most obvious checks are the most important. Like a hiker realizing they’ve been trekking up the wrong peak, your goals may falter because they’re not connected to your deeper needs, leading them to feel hollow and unsustainable.
The Science
According to psychologists, motivation thrives when our goals make us feel:
- In control of our decisions;
- Competent in our actions;
- Connected to the world around us.¹
A well-known study by researchers Sheldon and Kasser explored how meeting these three core psychological needs affects motivation. They followed people working toward personal goals and discovered that when those goals matched their deep desires, they felt more satisfied and stayed motivated longer.
In other words, when your goal truly fits you, the climb feels smoother and the reward more meaningful.²
The research showed that any goal progress can boost a sense of competence. But the real key to long-term success is to pursue goals that make you feel in control and connected too.
It’s like ensuring your planned hike is suited to your abilities and desires. When everything is aligned, the climb feels meaningful and the summit is truly rewarding.
Trail Check Questions
When you feel stuck on a goal, ask yourself:
- Does this goal feel like a choice, or am I doing it because I feel obligated?
- Do I feel capable of achieving this goal, or does it seem overwhelming?
- Will achieving this goal connect me to people and values I care about?
Consider the following goal: “I want to get fit.”
At first glance, this goal seems straightforward, but digging deeper reveals different possible motivations.
For starters, this goal might be an expression of autonomy. You might feel empowered when choosing healthier habits for yourself—not because someone else told you to. Competence comes into play as you recognize that starting small, like daily walks, builds confidence and creates achievable milestones. Finally, relatedness ties in as you imagine inspiring your family to join you, transforming the journey into a shared, meaningful experience.
Step 2: Is This Goal Yours or Someone Else’s?
If someone else handed you a trail map, maybe it’s time to chart your own course.
Have you ever followed a trail just because someone else said it was worth it, only to realize it wasn’t your kind of hike? Pursuing goals works the same way. When you chase goals set by others or shaped by what people expect from you, it drains your energy and motivation, leaving little room to focus on what truly matters to you.
The Science
Psychologists tell us that your goals are powered by two types of motivation—extrinsic and intrinsic.
- Extrinsic motivation comes from outside pressures, like chasing status, making money, or earning approval.
- Intrinsic motivation comes from within—it’s about doing things that excite you, help you grow, or bring a deep sense of purpose.³
Research shows that when goals connect to what truly matters to you, you're more likely to stay committed and feel fulfilled. On the other hand, if you're following a goal just because others expect it, you’re more likely to feel dissatisfied, burn out, and make little progress.⁴ ⁵ ⁶
Climbing a mountain because you love the view is different from climbing because someone told you to. One fuels you forward, the other wears you down. Following someone else’s path up a mountain might get you somewhere, but will it be a peak you actually care about reaching?
Trail Check Questions
Questioning whether your goal is really yours? Ask yourself:
- Am I pursuing this goal because it matters to me, or because I think I ‘should’?
- Who would I disappoint if I abandoned this goal? Does their opinion matter more than my truth?
To illustrate, imagine you were striving for a corporate promotion.
At first, this goal might seem like a great idea, but when you stop and think, it doesn’t truly excite you. Maybe you’ve been chasing it because it sounds impressive or because others expect it. But deep down, you know there’s something else that feels more right—something that sparks curiosity, energy, and a sense of purpose.
When you shift your focus to what truly matters to you, you’ll find motivation flows more naturally, and progress feels fulfilling instead of forced.
Step 3: Is the Goal Too Big or Vague to Trigger Action?
If the peak looks impossibly far, focus on reaching the next ridge instead.
Sometimes, a goal is like staring up at a massive mountain with no idea where to start. Without clear milestones, your brain struggles to process where to begin, leaving you stuck in a loop of procrastination.
The Science
The SMART framework, created by consultant George Doran in 1981, is a simple way to set clear, achievable goals. It helps break big ideas into manageable steps so you don’t feel lost or stuck.
Let’s say you want to get in better shape. Here’s how you can break it down into clear, doable steps:
- Specific - Be clear about what you want. Instead of saying, "I want to get fitter," try "I want to walk 30 minutes a day."
- Measurable - Track your progress in a way that makes sense. Whether it’s counting steps, time spent, or small wins, having a way to see improvement keeps you motivated.
- Achievable - Make sure your goal is within reach. If you're new to running, aiming for a marathon next month might be too much. Start with a short run and build up.
- Relevant - Pick a goal that actually matters to you. If you don’t care about running but love dancing, make movement part of your plan in a way that excites you.
- Time-Bound - Set a deadline so you have a reason to start now, not "someday." A goal with a timeline—like "I’ll practice yoga three times a week for the next month"—keeps you focused.⁷
In the earlier study by Sheldon and Kasser, they discovered that people who set clear, specific goals made much more progress over three months than those with vague or undefined ones. This shows how having a well-defined plan makes it easier to take action and stay on track.²
The SMART framework is a great way to set clear goals, but it’s important to use it flexibly. Some goals, like creative projects, work better when they’re more open-ended.⁸ Also, focusing too much on making goals "achievable" can sometimes lead to playing it too safe. Aiming higher, even if it feels like a stretch, can boost motivation and performance in the long run.⁹
Remember, if the peak looks too far away, focus on reaching the next ridge instead. Breaking things down into smaller, doable steps makes the climb toward your highest goals feel manageable and keeps you moving forward. Instead of feeling lost in endless possibilities, focus on creating clear markers that guide you steadily toward your goal.
Trail Check Questions
Not sure whether your goals are SMART? Simply check them against these five questions:
- Specific - “What exactly am I trying to accomplish?”
- Measurable - “How will I track progress?”
- Achievable - “Is this realistic given my current resources?”
- Relevant - “Does this align with my values and priorities?”
- Time-Bound - “What’s my deadline?”
For example, if your goal is to write a book, don’t get overwhelmed by the entire journey. Start small: “Commit to writing 500 words every weekday for three months to complete a 30,000-word draft.”
This approach breaks a big dream into clear, manageable steps, setting you up for steady progress and success.
Need some support getting started? MAP’s SMART goals activity guides you step by step through the process. It’s an easy way to help you set clear, actionable objectives. That way, your goals stop feeling like distant peaks and start becoming reachable summits.
Step 4: Are You Pursuing the Goal for the Right Emotional Reasons?
Are you climbing with excitement, or are you just afraid of being left behind?
The fuel that drives you up the mountain matters. If you’re climbing because you’re excited about the view, the journey will feel rewarding. But if you’re only climbing because you’re afraid of what happens if you don’t, every step will feel like a burden.
The Science
Research shows that positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and purpose expand our mental and behavioral abilities. They help us see more opportunities, build new skills, and connect better with others. In contrast, negative emotions like fear or guilt narrow our focus, increasing stress and making the journey toward our goals harder.¹⁰
Another benefit of positive emotions is their ability to build resilience. When we pursue goals with excitement and purpose, we’re more likely to develop long-term motivation and push through challenges. This creates an upward spiral, reinforcing our drive to keep moving forward.¹¹
It’s like choosing the right energy source for your hike—joy and purpose are renewable, keeping you going, while fear and guilt drain you fast.
Trail Check Questions
Simply ask yourself: “Am I pursuing this goal because I love myself or because I dislike myself?”
If it’s because you dislike yourself, ask yourself whether you can reframe the goal in a way that excites or inspires you instead.
For example, imagine again that you want to get fit.
If your motivation is "I need to get fit because I hate my body," the journey will feel exhausting. But if you shift it to "I want to get fit because I love my body and want to take care of it," your motivation transforms into one of self-care and empowerment.
This shift makes the climb feel lighter, the effort more sustainable, and the destination more rewarding.
Step 5: Are You Pursuing Something or Running from Something?
Are you hiking toward a breathtaking view or just scrambling to escape a valley?
When setting goals, your mindset makes all the difference. If your focus is on avoiding failure, it’s like racing downhill just to get away from a storm—you’re moving, but with no clear destination. That kind of motivation runs out fast, leaving you exhausted and unsure where to go next.
Instead, shift your focus to climbing toward something that excites you. Pursuing a goal with a clear and inspiring destination in mind makes every step feel more purposeful. You’re not just reacting to discomfort—you’re choosing a path that leads to a view worth the climb.
The Science
Scientists describe this difference in goal-setting as the contrast between moving toward something exciting versus just trying to avoid something bad:
- Approach Goals - These focus on reaching a positive outcome, fueling enthusiasm, creativity, and a strong sense of purpose.
- Avoidance Goals - These are about preventing negative outcomes, which often leads to stress, anxiety, and less resilience over time.¹²
Approach-oriented goals give you a clear path forward (“I want to succeed”), while avoidance-oriented goals keep you looking over your shoulder (“I don’t want to fail”). While this distinction may seem subtle, it has a profound impact on your motivation, emotional state, and long-term success.
A key study by Elliot and Sheldon discovered that people who set approach-oriented goals felt more motivated, stuck with their efforts longer, and enjoyed greater satisfaction. In contrast, those focused on avoiding failure experienced higher stress, exhaustion, and a greater risk of quitting.¹³
The science is clear: Reframing your goals to focus on what you want to achieve—not just what you’re trying to avoid—can completely change your experience. It turns your journey into one of purpose and growth, making each step feel more rewarding and sustainable.
Focusing on what you want to achieve instead of what you're trying to avoid has big benefits. But sometimes, using both perspectives can strengthen your motivation.¹⁴
Imagine setting a goal to practice yoga regularly. Visualizing a positive outcome—like feeling stronger and more flexible—can be motivating. At the same time, keeping in mind what you want to avoid—like stiffness or pain as you age—can add an extra push to stay committed. The key is balance: don’t let fear take over, but use it as a gentle reminder alongside your excitement for what’s ahead.
Trail Check Questions
For any goal you’re pursuing, ask yourself: “Is this goal about avoiding a negative outcome or achieving a positive one?”
If you discover that your goal is framed in the negative, see if you can reframe it in pursuit of a positive outcome instead.
For example, if you’re worried about job security, your goal might sound like, “I don’t want to lose my job.” But this focuses on fear and can keep you stuck in a defensive mindset. Instead, reframe it as an approach goal: “I want to develop my skills and become a valued team member.” This shift helps you focus on growth, giving you the energy to take proactive steps like learning new skills or making meaningful contributions.
One way to make this even easier is through positive visualization—imagining your ideal future like a scenic overlook you’re aiming for. This approach is at the heart of MAP, helping you map out the steps between where you are now and where you want to be across five key areas of life.
For step-by-step guidance on creating a vision that pulls you forward, try out MAP today.
Treat Your Malfunctioning Willpower as a Messenger
Goals don’t fail because you lack willpower—they fail because something deeper needs attention. When you take the time to reassess your path, you uncover valuable insights, align your goals with what truly matters to you, and replace frustration with clarity.
I hope this guide has helped you find a better way forward.
If you’re looking for more support, MAP offers a suite of free tools designed to help you stay on track.
- Find your true direction – Get clear on what drives you, surface blind spots that are blocking you, and discover the deeper motivations behind your goals.
- Set approach-focused goals – Learn to create meaningful, step-by-step goals in key areas of life: Self, Relationship, Family, Work, and Community.
- Track your journey – Use MAP’s built-in tools to monitor progress, stay motivated, and adjust as needed.
It’s 100% free and the simplest way to be guided toward your goals with clarity, purpose, and support right in your back pocket. Try it out today!
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do my goals feel overwhelming or impossible to achieve?
Goals often feel overwhelming when they’re too big or vague, leaving your brain unsure of where to start. Using a framework like SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound) helps break large goals into actionable steps, making progress feel manageable and achievable.
How do I know if my goals align with what I truly want?
Ask yourself: Does this goal feel like my choice, or am I pursuing it because of social or family expectations? Reflecting on your core values and motivations through tools like MAP’s goal-setting exercises ensures your goals are authentically yours.
Can I change how I approach my goals to stay motivated?
Yes. Reframing your goals from avoidance (“I don’t want to fail”) to approach (“I want to succeed”) shifts your mindset from fear to growth. This simple change can transform your motivation and help you pursue goals with renewed energy and purpose.
References and Further Reading
- Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-Determination Theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78.
- Sheldon, K. M., & Kasser, T. (1998). Pursuing personal goals: Skills enable progress, but not all progress is beneficial. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 24(12), 1319-1331.
- Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. New York: Plenum.
- Sheldon, K. M., & Kasser, T. (1995). Coherence and congruence: Two aspects of personality integration. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 68(3), 531-543.
- Kasser, T., & Ryan, R. M. (1993). A dark side of the American dream: Correlates of financial success as a central life aspiration. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 65(2), 410-422.
- Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 482-497.
- Doran, G. T. (1981). There's a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management's goals and objectives. Management Review, 70(11), 35-36.
- Pietsch, S., Riddell, H., Semmler, C., Ntoumanis, N., & Gucciardi, D. F. (in press). SMART goals are no more effective for creative performance than do-your-best goals or non-specific, exploratory ‘open goals’. Educational Psychology.
- Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation: A 35-year odyssey. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705-717.
- Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218-226.
- Fredrickson, B. L., & Joiner, T. (2002). Positive emotions trigger upward spirals toward emotional well-being. Psychological Science, 13(2), 172-175.
- Elliot, A. J., & Harackiewicz, J. M. (1996). Approach and avoidance achievement goals and intrinsic motivation: A mediational analysis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70(3), 461-475.
- Elliot, A. J., & Sheldon, K. M. (1997). Avoidance achievement motivation: A personal goals analysis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(1), 171-185.
- Wimmer, S., Lackner, H. K., Papousek, I., & Paechter, M. (2018). Goal orientations and activation of approach versus avoidance motivation while awaiting an achievement situation in the laboratory. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1552.
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